Oops, I did it again....

I close friend recently told me that she had found a new motto for my life. My two thoughts were 1) how in the world do I still have friends and 2) wowwwww, this is creepy true...



And in spirit of candidness, I felt it appropriate to write about something on my mind this hott second, themes...

I feel like most of my weeks have themes. Last week’s theme was “oops.”

• Oops because I’m a hypochondriac I was and convinced myself I had throat cancer, despite having none of the symptoms besides being thirsty sometimes, which I recognize is not typically symbolic of a malady. My formal diagnoses ended being hypochondria and mild acid reflux, but only after I had my face numbed and a camera shoved up my nose and down my throat. Oops.
• Oops because I decided to enjoy a sunny day that also happened to be windy. The conversation and salad were fantastic, but I never had the opportunity to try the dressing because apparently Mother Nature decided to pour it all over my coat and dress. It was only when my skirt was hiked up around my waste and submerged in the women’s bathroom sink on the executive floor that two senior females in my company had the opportunity to not only witness my antics, but my exposed tush. Oops
• Oops because a new fabulous gay friend told me the only thing that would make my derby outfit more marvelous would be a “quick titty.” He explained that it is when a celebrity “accidently” exposes their breast to be fabulous. As serendipity would have it, my dress strap broke while dancing later that evening, but I think that may incident was a little more comparable to this…

  

Quadruple Oops....

For some reason I feel better after publicizing these minor incidents, and I am happy to report that this week has a different theme, carbohydrates. When I say that I ate half a birthday cake yesterday, I mean that I ate half a birthday cake, 2 chocolate almond croissants and French fries, and those were just my snack. Atkins is barking up the wrong tree because this girl is on a mission to eat ALL of the carbs on this island. 

As for next week, I’m hoping that my theme can be something like “Prince Harry wants to marry me” or “Beyoncé wants me to be a back-up dancer”, but if not, I will also settle for “good times with friends” or “I keep finding 20 dollar bills on the sidewalk”…